Artistic expression has always taken me out of ordinary states of mind, to see what’s possible and to see the potential all around me, where I do not feel limited anymore. -Stephanie Stean
My 13-Year Initiation
by Stephanie Stean
I have mentioned multiple times in my writing, an illness that interfered with my work (and life plans) and lasted a span of 13 years. I have been documenting about that illness for the past year and sharing creatively on journals online through my writing platform, Writer With Coffee. I called it my “Supernatural Initiation.”
I specialized in initiations, especially tribal initiations, for my master’s thesis. There are initiations for many life transitions and stages all over the world. My focus was on shamanic and warrior initiations in the Amazon Rainforest through ritual and stories. I also studied initiation in the religious traditions throughout the world. I used the framework and understanding of “initiation” to guide me through my own initiation, which started in 2012, and then escalated into a full-blown mental and physical crisis in 2023. Knowing and specializing in initiations, and my work in the Amazon Rainforest with shamans, saved me and gave me a path out of what would have been guaranteed destruction for my mind and health.
I was able to creatively and openly share details publicly online, which helped me overcome blocks to recovery, like shame, guilt, or fear. I shared some of my own writing privately with relatives, and told them “I could not worry about sounding crazy” because my life and survival were on the line. I was determined to complete this initiation with my mind and health intact. So far, I’m still here.
My next step in my own self-creation process, is deciding what the past 13 years were for. What am I going to do and how am I going to apply what I’ve lived, experienced and learned. Who am I going to be now, as it completes? I also plan to rework the online journals and make them more cohesive, and then write and create something more comprehensive and descriptive of the initiation, using accompanying theory and scholarship. It will be my first major project with Writer With Coffee.
More information about the initiation can be found on my blogpost: Initiation Journals 2012-2026
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Photo by Asso Myron
Stephanie Stean, Owner, Creator and Author of Writer With Coffee, Self-Creation Process.
